Turning Shyness into Popularity

Occasionally I talk to a person who is excessively shy. They feel very uncomfortable around groups of people as they absolutely are certain that everyone is focused on them – and that it must be because something is wrong with them. This leads to a very stressful situation. Many people who have these feelings have problems sleeping and may even develop numerous stress-related health disorders. When a person suffers from excessive shyness, they often find that they are also limiting their careers and preventing themselves from developing rewarding relationships. Fortunately,for many people this is an issue that can be resolved with outstanding results.

My theory is people with such conditions are geniuses when it comes to certain social skills. I know that this sounds ridiculous as excessively shy people normally feel that they are failures in this area. However, essentially the issue is caused by a hypersensitivity to others. This highly developed part of their personality can be either a curse or a blessing if it is used properly.

In the 1990's a team of Italian researchers found that the human brain contains a special type of brain cell called mirror neurons. These allow an observer to experience in their brains the actions of another person. Scientists consider them the secret to empathy. Also, they are finding that there are several areas of the brain that are dedicated to recognizing faces and assisting with the performance of other social skills.

When a specific brain function is repeated enough, it the corresponding area becomes highly developed. In fact, with sufficient practice you can become a master of about anything. Incidentally, shy people are masters at being shy. On the other hand, as shy people learn to convert the power of their brain functions from shyness to charisma they become very powerful communicators.

The reason why some people are overly shy is because they have developed an uncanny ability to perform social communication. This means that their brains are very good at connecting with the corresponding areas in the brains of their audience. This gives them the opportunity to influence the feelings of others by merely changing how they feel. For example, I have a couple of colleagues, who are known to be rather effective and powerful public speakers. However, in private conversations they reveal that they see themselves as very shy and introverted. What they have learned is how to convert this shyness – which they realize is a form of social genius – into a rather uncanny ability to motivate others.