Guilt is not a Requirement

It is difficult to live a life without some form of regret. By the time that you reach adolescence, you probably have developed a substantial list of things you wish you hadn't said, hadn't done, or failed to say or do. Then by the time you reach your middle age years or even later in life, that list seems to be almost encyclopedic in size. Furthermore, we often have others – who may think that they are well-meaning – who communicate by telling us that the reason that we need to do or say something is to satisfy others. And, if we don't, we will be sorry later. Yes, parents, teachers, and preachers show their concern for us by installing the most damaging and long-lasting feelings of guilt.

People who live with excessive guilt are missing out on life. They are not living in the present – and they have very little idea of the excitement that the future may bring. They are stuck and are certain that they will never be happy. Incidentally, this normally means that they define their happiness by the actions of others – rather than realizing that they have a choice.

I rarely see a guilt-ridden person without finding out about the long list of other problems in their life. These come in the form of addictions – such as smoking, pornography, or drug abuse – and self-soothing behaviors as manifested in excessive body weight or rather self-centered behavior. They may not see themselves as being self-centered, but believe me, others will see it quite readily.

If you live your life with guilt-ridden patterns, most likely the learning process started early in life. Your brain develops in stages, with the frontal areas not completing development until you are around 25 years of age. So, as an infant or child you did not possess the ability to intellectualize disturbing events or the efforts of others to manipulate your behavior by making you feel guilty. Therefore, those parts of the brain that were already available to you – such the emotional areas in its center – coped by triggering reactions to stress and fear. These patterns then continue through life and well until your senior years – that is, unless you seek counseling or other treatment to escape the bonds of a life with guilt.