There is Hope There is Help

by Debra Mittler, CHt

There is an ever growing epidemic of eating disorders amongst both women and men. Some start as young as six years of age. People who develop eating disorders usually do it to cope with life circumstances. It is an unconscious reaction to develop a sense of control, escape feelings, avoid responsibility or stop the process of life. They "think" these behaviors make them feel better. They usually are not aware of, and are disconnected from the physical and emotional harm they are doing on their mind, body and spirit. These people tend to have low self-esteem and can view themselves with a lot of negativity. Some feel that nothing is ever good enough, (mostly themselves). Generally their thoughts, feelings and behaviors stem from the limiting beliefs they have about themselves and the world.

If you or someone you know is struggling, know there is hope. I know first hand. Here is my story:

My name is Debra Mittler. I didn't come into this world with this name, and I didn't choose it, it was given to me when I arrived. I came into this world as a shinning diamond but somewhere along the way, just as my name was "given" to me, piled on me were guilt, shame, blame, positive and negative thoughts, words and actions from myself and others. Because the negative ones outweighed the positive ones, this was how I experienced myself and the world. I didn't know how to reject it; instead I took it into my consciousness and created a "negative" self-image. My diamond went from shinny to dull.

At age 13 I started to diet and by age 14 I weighed 80 pounds and became anorexic. I felt unwanted, unworthy, fat, ugly and stupid and I acted in accordance to who I thought I was. It was a self fulfilling prophecy. I talked to myself and treated myself badly. "I'm so stupid, I can't do anything right." "I hate myself." "No one likes me." I called myself a FUS, which meant "Fat, Ugly and Stupid." Even if I was tired, I still made myself exercise to the point of exhaustion. I was so frightened to be present with myself or be still that I had to keep physically moving all the time. I wouldn't go out with friends unless we were exercising. I was being controlled by a powerful energy inside myself that "made me" keep moving.

My relationship with food was different from "normal people." Eating was something I did in secret. It was "my time" and "no one can disturb me." I also felt embarrassed about the things I ate and the way I ate them. When I ate cheerios, I would eat one at a time. I would take an hour to eat one wheat thin cracker. I ate my salad with my fingers. Or, I would binge on yogurt, cupcakes, candy bars, pop-tarts, puddings, cereal and bananas in one sitting. I ate the same thing everyday at the same time in the same way, unless it was binge day. Eating this way was my "comfort" zone (so I thought) actually I never felt comfortable, it was just familiar and I knew I wouldn't gain weight by eating the same thing. By focusing on food and exercising I didn't have to deal with anything else in my life. My life was contained and controlled. Nothing could come in and I couldn't come out.

No matter what "no one can see me eat." I would get mad if anyone saw me eat, it was as if I was doing something "bad" or they were intruding on "my privacy." Whenever I ate, my emotions and feelings became more intense. Food was something I could physically feel in my body, and I didn't want to be connected to something I hated (which was me). By exercising I was able to disassociate from myself physically, mentally and spiritually.

I felt so terrified of living, especially during and right after I ate. Eating on my time in my way gave me a false sense of control and security that I wasn't consciously aware of. I was really being controlled by a program that was running in my subconscious mind that dictated my thoughts, words, actions and re-actions. I didn't feel powerful enough to stop it; instead I just lived my life like a robot responding to the negative thoughts I was thinking in my mind and living in a trance. Eating-exercising-eating-exercising-eating-exercising, complaining how miserable I was and saying "I just want to die, I hate my life." And I was dying.

I felt hideous, alone and disconnected from myself and everyone. I viewed everyone and everything in the world as I viewed myself "horrible." "I hate myself and this world; I don't want to be here. I don't enjoy life and there's nothing to live for." I affirmed this thought by continuously thinking it in my mind and exercising every moment of the day.

Head- "I can't, I'm scared Reaction-exercise Head- "I'm so stupid" Reaction- exercise Head- "You're going to get fat" Reaction-exercise Head- "You'll never succeed" Reaction-exercise Head- "I'm so ugly, nobody will ever love me" Reaction-exercise Head-"If I eat, I'll have to exercise......I'm too tired" Reaction-exercise

I had a hate-hate relationship with myself and a love-hate relationship with food. It served a purpose, both positive and negative. When I ate, I would shut out the world, go into trance and not have to deal with anyone or anything. (For me this was positive because it gave me a false sense of security) However, when I ate, I felt frightened and out of control and thought "I'm going to get fat and no one will love me." It didn't feel right to nourish and feed myself, but I really didn't know why, I just felt sick to my stomach whenever I ate. I was training my body to respond and exercise whenever I ate or had feelings or emotions. Exercising eventually became an automatic response to just being alive. The more I did it, the more engrained it became and the deeper it went in my subconscious mind. I wasn't getting away from anything, I was just avoiding for the time being because these feelings never went away. I was just piling more "yuck" inside myself that I eventually had to deal with. No wonder I felt "so fat" even though I weighed 80 pounds; it was just more and more feelings being stuffed inside.

I exercised every minute of the day. I didn't know where I was running to or running from, I just kept running. Whenever I sat still, I would get a sick feeling inside myself, my heart would race and I would sweat and it wouldn't go away until I exercised. If I wasn't exercising or eating, all I could think about and talk about was dying. I was consumed in this energy and didn't know how to break free. I was so busy running from myself, everyone and everything that I never focused on creating the life I want. I just continued to think and act in accordance to the negative thoughts, words and actions I consumed myself with. I found a way to escape for the time being, actually 23 years of my life. I was like a hamster on a wheel, moving very fast but not getting anywhere, just ending up in the same spot I started.

In those 23 years I almost died three times and was in 20 hospitals and treatment centers. I wanted to control my life, (at least I thought I was controlling it). By looking so thin and gaunt I was telling the world "I'm empty, lonely and angry, please someone show me you love me by taking care of me." I didn't know what I enjoyed, didn't know what made me happy and was too frightened to ask for anything. The anorexia (I say "the" anorexia instead of "my" anorexia so I'm not attached to it) was my shield and I thought it protected me from myself and the world I felt so unworthy in.

So how did my life begin to change? At my last treatment center I told myself "this is my last treatment center, I'm either going to get better or die." I also had a doctor there that reinforced this statement. He told me when I left that "we didn't want to take you at the beginning, given your history we knew we wouldn't be able to help you." I'm thankful to him. I didn't get better there, but I started on a path of healing.

Every hospital, person, treatment center, religion, helpers, mentors, books and seminars have kept me alive and have supported me along the way. Each was a stepping stone that kept me on the path I am on today. Consciously I was taking small steps everyday towards health and happiness and reprogramming my negative thoughts at the subconscious level with hypnosis. It was a process and I'm grateful for my experiences and the valuable lessons I've learned and am still learning.

By thinking positive thoughts and being loving and gentle with myself as I'm continuing to learn and grow, I'm experiencing a beautiful and fulfilling life. I stay focused on and have reprogrammed my mind to think what I want, not what had been negatively programmed in the past by myself or others. Every time I do this my diamond shines more and more and my destructive behaviors fall away. I feel the glow from the core of my being emanating through me and all around me. I don't listen to the "blah, blah" that was piled on me and I'm becoming more alive and vibrant everyday. My attention is focused on love, happiness, and wholeness and this is manifesting in my life. Hypnotherapy has been and is a very powerful tool in my healing. In the relaxed state of hypnosis, I'm able to access my subconscious mind, change my automatic responses and override negative thoughts and beliefs to positive ones. In the past I had programs of lack, limitation, fear, unworthiness and destructive habits going all the time creating a negative self image resulting in destructive behaviors. Once I started to reprogram my subconscious at this deep level, and consciously focused on my goal of health and happiness, (bringing my conscious and subconscious in alignment), I was amazed at how happy I became and how easily things started to flow into my life.

I became a hypnotherapist and wrote Free Yourself from Anorexia and Bulimia when I was still struggling. I used hypnosis, the power of thought and other modalities to help me along the way. Once I made the decision and commitment to being happy and healthy and put energy into this, books, teachers, workshops and seminars and more started showing up to support me in my goal. I was pro-active in my recovery and did whatever was necessary to help me change. It wasn't easy, I kicked and screamed along the way, but I did it and now I'm happy and healthy and experiencing the life I truly want for myself.

So what exactly is Hypnosis?

According to the American Psychological Association (APA)'s Division of Psychological Hypnosis, hypnosis is a procedure during which a health professional or researcher suggests while treating someone that he or she experience changes in sensations, perceptions, thoughts, or behavior. Although some hypnosis is used to make people more alert, most hypnosis includes suggestions for relaxation, calmness, and well-being. Instructions to imagine or think about pleasant experiences are also commonly included during hypnosis. People respond to hypnosis in different ways. Some describe hypnosis as a state of focused attention, in which they feel very calm and relaxed with a pleasant feeling.

Hypnosis is commonly used for changing limiting beliefs, removing fears and phobias, alleviating pain or discomfort, building confidence, relieving anxiety, to lose weight, to stop smoking, to illuminate eating disorders and much, much more. During hypnosis the conscious mind is put to rest allowing truth to go directly to the subconscious. Once these truths are programmed at a deep level the conscious and the subconscious can work together creating a rich and rewarding life.

The subconscious is the seat of our emotions and imagination. Your imagination is working whether you're aware of it or not. Creative imagination is one of the great secrets of success. Imagination combined with emotions is the language of the subconscious. So take a moment right now and imagine biting into a sour, bitter lemon, and notice your mouth starting to water. This is the power of imagination. Even though you weren't actually biting a lemon, you imagined that you were and your body responded.

When in hypnosis we can recall memories of our early childhood that are completely forgotten by the conscious mind. During a session, we can return to that place where we've created negatively and reframe it to a positive experience so our automatic responses will act in accordance. Say for instance, you were told as a young child that you can't do anything right. Now as an adult you have a hard time moving forward in your life and don't understand why. This is because your subconscious is the driving force of your behaviors and you had a program of not being able to do anything right and you acted in accordance. What you believe on a deep level, you will achieve.

Once you reprogram your beliefs and patterns in the subconscious, you'll be amazed at how easily things start to flow in your life. When you are relaxed, taking charge of your thoughts and actions is easy. When hypnotized, you concentrate intensely on a specific thought, memory, feeling or sensation and your mind opens to a whole new world of possibilities. The mind doesn't know the difference from what is real or imagined which allows you to create without limitations. Your new responses now become an automatic way of life. It is possible to assume full creative control of your health, your state of mind, and your sense of well-being making it easy to achieve your dreams and desires.

As I was healing, learning and growing I wrote my book titled "Free Yourself from Anorexia and Bulimia." I was now accountable not only to helping myself, but helping others as well. If I can do it, so can you.

Along with my personal journey of insight and revelation, it is also a self-help book that offers simple and easy to do step-by-step processes that can help you change compulsive behaviors where they live, in the mind. It also educates families, friends and helpers on these life-threatening problems and is a valuable introduction to the power of Hypnotherapy. Through my personal journey, I gained tremendous insight and success that helped me and can help you too.

Debra Mittler is a Certified Hypnotherapist, speaker and life coach in Los Angeles, California. Debra has individual clients for all areas of self improvement as well as speaks on eating disorders and teaches self-hypnosis classes. Her success oriented approach includes traditional hypnosis suggestions, guided imagery, regression, Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), and guided visualization. For more information visit: www.HypnosisIsFreedom.com.