Cyrano, Healers & Losing the Fear of Rejection

by Coach Cary Bayer

A couple of years ago, I was in New York City and happened to catch the opening night of previews on Broadway of the revival of my favorite play, Cyrano de Bergerac, written by Edmond Rostand, in 1897. For those of you unfamiliar with this tragic story, it's set in Paris in 1640, and centers around the eponymous Cyrano, who's as much of a hero with the sword as he is a coward with expressing his love. He's great at swordplay and wordplay, but tragically pathetic at romance. That's because he has a grotesque nose, virtually the size of a cuckoo clock.

This play can be very instructive for you if you facilitate the healing of others. It's too bad that a DVD version of the motion picture with the incomparable Jose Ferrer isn't made available for a popcorn screening in the training schools of therapists, body workers, and alternative energy healers. With his sword, Cyrano can slay a hundred men on a battlefield in France. With your hands, a massage therapist can slay a hundred knots of tension on the battlefield of clients' bodies. But with his mouth, he freezes up in the presence of his beloved Roxanne. After teaching my 6-CE "Build a $100,000 a Year Healing Arts Business," and privately coaching about 200 healers during the past several years, it's become painfully obvious to me that far too many of you freeze up in the presence of opportunities to promote your work. You become as tongue-tied in the face of a prospective new client as the usually poetic Cyrano does in the face of his beloved. In the play, Cyrano de Bergerac sadly dies, never having told his Roxanne that he loves her, even though it was his soul, that she loved. (That's because Cyrano had extemporaneously written some exquisitely beautiful love poetry for a handsome young soldier whose face his Roxanne had fallen in love with. The man was all looks but no books; he looked beautiful but spoke poorly. Cyrano, knowing that his pretty beloved would never fall for someone as ugly as him, wrote the poems to win the heart of his beloved for the young man. Cyrano was so terrified at the thought of competing against this handsome stud that he didn't even attempt to.) Years later, when Roxanne finally discovered that it was Cyrano's poetry--not the pretty boy's--that won her heart, she would eventually confess her love for Cyrano as he lay dying. Stubborn, proud, and fearful to the very end, however, he refused to admit his love. His insecurities were so deep that, if you screen the DVD, have on hand plenty of tissues for his issues.)

I have seen far too many therapists fail to book a session at a party when a stranger says that he could really use one. The fear that he might reject the offer to book stops the therapist in her tracks. The would-be client is denied the relief, like Roxanne was denied Cyrano's love. I have seen far too many healers fail to ask clients if they would like to purchase a package of treatments even though they could save money. The fear of rejection again raising its ugly....er, nose. Cyrano was a tragic hero of fiction. Don't let yourself be a tragic statistic of the healing arts business. Don't take your talented hands and intuition away from your tables and couches and put them on a computer keyboard in some nameless office so that you have a secure way to pay your bills. Roxanne always loved Cyrano, but he was too scared to find that out. People love what you do with your hands and your mind; don't be too scared to ask them if they'd like a session.

For more information visit www.CaryBayer.com.